Ask Dave: The Pork Diet

Posted on April 1, 2012 by

2


Dear Dave,

My husband and I heard that you have developed a new diet plan for people who love pork.  Could you tell me more?

 Patti, in Georgia.

Dear PIG,

I’d be happy to!  This is a revolutionary new diet that I am happy to share with you.   

Here’s how it works:

BREAKFAST:  eat nothing

LUNCH:  eat nothing except maybe a little water

DINNER:  Eat Pork:  ribs, roast, sausage, chops, steaks, tenderloin, or ham

Although you may drink small amounts of water throughout the day the real emphasis is on the cleansing power of pork.  Eat all you want and watch your body change.

I personally guarantee that within DAYS, yes just DAYS; you will see RESULTS!

So you may be wondering by now how this could possibly work?

Pork contains special enzymes called ‘porkinols’ that naturally rid your body of excess toxins.  By loading your body at night with the revered porkinol your body just does the rest – All day long!

OK Patti – I hope that you have caught on by now; the pork diet is a complete sham.  A hoax.  Hokum.  My point was to let you (and all YOU readers) know that we don’t have a miracle diet.

What we do have is a system that takes you from wherever you are now – to wherever you want to be.  You can eat pork.  You can eat banana’s.  You can eat at restaurants.

You do not need injections of hormones to lose fat.  You do not need staples in your stomach.  You do not need any DIETS that sound outrageous; all you need is to listen to your body and take control of your habits; this will not happen overnight as you did not get to where you are now overnight.

Whatever you do; listen to your coach, listen to your body, and please DON’T DO THE PORK DIET!

Oh – and porkinols don’t exist either!

The guys below didn’t get the memo…

Dave

Posted in: Ask Dave