When Self Care Slips

Since having my first baby in April, I was doing really well, in fact I was doing “it all”.
Sleep when the baby sleeps, nah, I cleaned the house, made dinner for my family, took a shower, did my hair and makeup. I was working part time, starting my day at 4 AM
sometimes after only two hours of sleep. This went on for 7 months. Yes, I would fall
apart occasionally but I would press on. After all I could should be able to handle all of
this, other people do.

Was I logging my food? No….but I had just had the baby and I knew what I was doing.
Was I drinking water? Sometimes… Was I eating?… Uhhhhh not much. Was I meditating? I told myself I was, but NO! Yet I thought I was taking care of myself.

When my sons sleeping pattern changed to waking up every 1-2 hours I completely fell
apart. I was mad, and irritated that he wouldn’t sleep. I blamed myself. I was upset with myself for not being able to “do it all”. This melt down lasted about one week, when finally my family got my attention. They all forced me to look at my actions VS my
words. I was stunned when I finally realized how far off I was.

I had slipped. So instead of freaking out even more, I stopped and made an agreement to
get back to the basics. I needed to log my food, I needed to eat food every 3 hours (max),
I needed to drink water, and I needed to sleep even if that meant the dishes didn’t get
done. Since these basics are really really simple, even in my frantic state I could handle
this. Once I started eating, drinking water and logging food I was mellower, soooooo
oddly enough the baby slept and I slept. I have since let go of the notion that I have to do
it all. I have given myself a lot more grace, and know that I am doing my best and that is
ALL I can do.

This Holiday season, I highly encourage all of you to stay honest and real with
yourselves. If you do start to slip, go back to what you know before you get to far down a
path that will be hard to turn around. If you slip and eat something “bad” don’t feel badly
or shameful, own it, and log it in your journal. The tighter you are with your habits the
harder it is to slip out of self care.