“What Am I After?”

Posted on January 5, 2013 by


Coach Michele John

Coach Michele John

by: Michele John

When I began my journey with Genesis Transformation, it was all about dropping fat, getting healthy, sleeping better and changing up my life.   In my head, “changing up my life” meant getting my “after” photo (finally) when that magic number appeared on the scale.   Now don’t get me wrong, those are valid reasons for beginning a journey of transformation, but what I didn’t realize at the time was how profound true transformation is.  Every day of this journey I learn a little more about myself, what I truly value, if my actions align with what I value and that I am becoming, at the age of 46, an adult.  Go figure, huh!

I had a great phone call this morning with a friend.  During the course of the call we talked about priorities and how if my priorities are aligned with my values, I can’t fail; plain and simple.  We talked about drama and how it can creep into our lives, sometimes self-created, other times it is placed front and center by someone else.  It really doesn’t matter how drama appears, drama is drama.

As I personally continue to learn more about transformation, accountability, prioritization and self-responsibility I always hold me and my past actions under that microscope to see where I am at, if I am doing that, and if so, actively begin changing the behavior and ultimately learn from it all.

When I think about drama, I realize it does several things. It keeps me from being honest and forthright in what I want for and from myself and others.  I know I have started arguments over the years with my husband about the dumbest things, and I am very capable of escalating the moment and really cranking up the drama.  I would make him jump through hoops trying to guess “what’s wrong” based on the story that I put into my head and wasn’t even based on the reality of his own thoughts or intentions.

At the end of the day, if I sit back, get really straight and honest with myself and ask, “What am I after?”  You know, as in ‘what do I really want to happen, here?”  It usually boils down to basic things like, “I am not feeling loved or valued enough, or that I feel like I am not a priority in our relationship at that time”.  But instead of being a grown up and just saying to him what I really need or want, I would create some big time drama and after several hours or days,  I would finally drill down to the real issue at hand.  I realize now how unfair and immature that is and was and how incredibly draining and damaging it can be.

The interesting part of this is that drama can be about relationships with others or our self, food, self-esteem or lack thereof;  it can be about holding on to tightly for fear of letting go, and so many other issues.  At the end of the day, drama is a disease.  It thrives on negativity and toxicity, it’s dishonest and manipulative and drama will never assist us in our journey for a healthy body, mind or spirit.

So as we ring in 2013, let’s all start our year off drama free!  In doing so, we will have more energy, we will be able to give and do more for those we love,  and our transformation journeys will all become a little deeper and powerful.

Michele John

Genesis Transformation Coach