Meditating Moms

By: Jenny Carr

Society creates social norms that predetermine our decision as to how easy or hard it is to be a mom.  It dictates for us how we should prioritize our time with our infants, toddlers, and children, as well as predetermining how much self-care we give ourselves when we have a family, and a job to also take care of.  Why has society chosen this decision for us?  WHY DO WE ALLOW society to choose this for us?

We allow ourselves to be convinced that self-care is too hard.  What is remarkable is that we have control over choosing any situation to be easy or difficult.  We can embrace a new challenge by looking through the lens of a different perspective if we want to make a situation easy, or we can create excuses if we want to make it difficult.

When I was beginning my journey into meditation, I explained to my coach how hard it was to meditate with a young child who constantly needed me.  My son was going through an attachment phase and every time I woke up early to meditate or journal, he would wake up.  I would then try to meditate later in the morning when he was awake, but he would want to sit on my lap, or snuggle and watch ‘toons’.

What is important to understand, is that with each EVENT that takes place, we make a DECISION. That decision usually falls under the parameters that the event is easy or difficult. Next comes the EMOTION created by the DECISION.  Last, a person’s ACTIONS are then followed by his/her EMOTIONS.   For me, I made a DECISION that meditating with my son (the EVENT) was difficult because I was never focused around him.  Because of this, an EMOTION of failure and incapability was created.  Therefore I stopped meditating (my ACTION).

I changed my decision to embracing Tosh as a part of my mediation in order to make meditating easier and more consistent in my life.  We began belly breathing to meditative music each night in order to begin our shared understanding of what mediation is.  Tosh and I were both successful in this endeavor, which created an emotion of excitement and success.  From these emotions came a desire to want to embrace meditating in a more structured manner with Tosh.  We began waking up in the morning together to meditate.

Literally, in a matter of days, my world went from this hectic and crazed morning, to a morning when Tosh and I would sit together and ground ourselves for the day.  We would discuss what was involved in meditating ahead of time so that Tosh knew that we were going to sit still, belly breathe, and stay quite during meditation time.  Tosh would not only practice belly breathing, but at times, he would be in a complete state of grace- not sleeping, but completely zenned out.  We have been meditating together for 5+ months, and Tosh will actually request to meditate at times.  In a world full of stimulation, meditation gives children a way to be at peace, and calm themselves.  It is a beautiful sight to behold.

This shift in my thinking, has created a truly unique opportunity for both Tosh and I to grow.  Because I had DECIDED to make it easy, to EMBRACE Tosh and invite him into my transformation, both of our worlds were filled with more ease, grace, and a unique bond was formed in a way I’m not sure we would have obtained otherwise.

So for all the moms out there, or anyone who has decided meditation is difficult, I invite you to DECIDE meditating is easy. I invite you to embrace whatever obstacle you have, and turn it into a positive. Be creative in making meditation happen in your life, I promise you, you will not regret it!