Coach Michele John
For some strange reason, standing in front of a mirror and looking at my body naked is not such a
big deal. However, what I recently confronted in myself was to truly stand naked with me. By me,
I mean Michele, the person. The “40 something” woman, who is a mother of two, married for just
shy of twenty seven years, and in some areas of my life I am a dynamo, powerhouse, and
invincible. However, as I really start getting deep into my own head work, which I know is a
critical piece of a transformation, that same woman, me, is terrified.
I recently had a conversation with my coach. She caught me off guard early in this talk and that
made me go to a place that normally I can keep well concealed from the average person, including
myself. I have learned to conceal those fears and ultimately keep them covered by a protective
layer of fat cells. In my mind, these cells are my ‘safety net’. What I mean is, if I fail in some way,
if someone doesn’t like me, if I don’t meet someone’s expectations, or, and I realize this sounds
harsh, but if someone doesn’t love me the way I believe they should, then I can blame any of those
shortcomings on the grounds that I am just too fat and obviously unlovable or not smart enough.
In my mind, if I am the best version of me which I see as extremely fit, having a low(er) body fat
percentage, well defined muscles and a level of vibrancy that is undeniable, and if somehow I fail,
it will be solely because of me. In all honesty, having no excuses scares the hell out of me. I slept
very little that night. But the next morning, I woke up, head still grappling with what all of this
means. I know deep in my heart, that I have to face this fear head on and be 100% naked with it
and me and then push past it. I am embracing the knowledge that some of the greatest
accomplishments in history evolved out of failure. I am comfortable with change, now I am
learning to become comfortable with my fears.
Posted in: Genesis Coaches Articles
Posted on July 3, 2011 by Sheri Lynn
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