Solo Nudity

Posted on July 3, 2011 by


Coach Samantha Ray

I gave myself permission to ‘get fat’ in January.  Sheri advised giving myself this permission to be really present with grieving my divorce – to allow myself to seek comfort in food rather than another relationship.  I struggled with this because my ego wanted to look hot and fantastic naked since I was now available.  I took Sheri’s advice because I knew she was right even though my mind was resisting this idea because who wants to sit in their discomfort?  My ego wanted to distract from the grief and pain and instead go play in the singles sandbox.   I knew in my heart and soul I didn’t want to repeat patterns of a past unhealthy marriage.  I wanted to transform my male relationship paradigm and attract an emotionally intelligent man who also values his body, mind, and spirit.  In order to do this I needed time ALONE to grieve, heal, and take extra special care of myself and my two sons.  After 15 years in a marriage I needed to discover and define who I was without being someone’s wife.

How did I decide the best way to accomplish this ‘getting fat’ task at hand?  Adding dark chocolate and red wine (my two favorite cheat foods) to my regularly clean food.  Let me tell you I felt like I was ‘partying’ it up big time!  I took care of ME while journaling, meditating, taking baths, walking, spending quality time with my sons, getting support from friends, and watching Sex and The City episodes while living vicariously through those women (who by the way all look incredible naked). Most importantly I gave myself the time, space, and permission I needed to process and move through my grief.

Mission was accomplished about four months and seven pounds later.  I woke up one morning and the thought of chocolate repulsed me.  I was finally ready to stop the comfort eating and return to my normal and preferred 100% clean way of eating .   Seven pounds is about the size of two wonder white bread loaves; you can imagine with this additional fat on my body –  I was NOT feeling so hot naked!  I got back on track in the beginning of May and started rotating again.  I am honoring this journey and feeling fantastic!  I will get back there with time, attention, and continuing to be straight and clean with my food.  Until then I am happily and confidently enjoying getting to know me, solo.

Posted in: Food For Thought