Coach Samantha Ray
I gave myself permission to ‘get fat’ in January. Sheri advised giving myself this permission to be really present with grieving my divorce – to allow myself to seek comfort in food rather than another relationship. I struggled with this because my ego wanted to look hot and fantastic naked since I was now available. I took Sheri’s advice because I knew she was right even though my mind was resisting this idea because who wants to sit in their discomfort? My ego wanted to distract from the grief and pain and instead go play in the singles sandbox. I knew in my heart and soul I didn’t want to repeat patterns of a past unhealthy marriage. I wanted to transform my male relationship paradigm and attract an emotionally intelligent man who also values his body, mind, and spirit. In order to do this I needed time ALONE to grieve, heal, and take extra special care of myself and my two sons. After 15 years in a marriage I needed to discover and define who I was without being someone’s wife.
How did I decide the best way to accomplish this ‘getting fat’ task at hand? Adding dark chocolate and red wine (my two favorite cheat foods) to my regularly clean food. Let me tell you I felt like I was ‘partying’ it up big time! I took care of ME while journaling, meditating, taking baths, walking, spending quality time with my sons, getting support from friends, and watching Sex and The City episodes while living vicariously through those women (who by the way all look incredible naked). Most importantly I gave myself the time, space, and permission I needed to process and move through my grief.
Mission was accomplished about four months and seven pounds later. I woke up one morning and the thought of chocolate repulsed me. I was finally ready to stop the comfort eating and return to my normal and preferred 100% clean way of eating . Seven pounds is about the size of two wonder white bread loaves; you can imagine with this additional fat on my body – I was NOT feeling so hot naked! I got back on track in the beginning of May and started rotating again. I am honoring this journey and feeling fantastic! I will get back there with time, attention, and continuing to be straight and clean with my food. Until then I am happily and confidently enjoying getting to know me, solo.
Genesis Transformation's Blog 
Michele
July 3, 2011
Sam,
YOU are one of the strongest, bravest and inspiring women I know… You have tranformed from married women…to divorced woman…to now. I can’t wait to see what pops out on the other side of this transformation!
Mary Zerbe
July 5, 2011
Dear Samantha,
Because our communication has been “on & off” because of disruptions in my life I have wondered if something major had happened in your life, possibly in your marriage. Not knowing for sure you have been in my thoughts and prayers. Now I know and I applaud your courage in sharing this very personal part of your ongoing transformation. It’s not a transformation one desires or hopes will happen to them, but to have faced it with courage, love, and the support of family and good friends you are the stronger for it. It’s a major grief and that is something I have experienced a lot of lately in my life. I hope we can connect in the near future. In the meantime, know you are loved and underneath are the everlasting Arms to hold you and help carry you into this new chapter in your life. ~Mary Z.
Samantha Ray
July 5, 2011
Thank you Michele and Mary for your support and kind words!! Life is not always easy but we do get STRONGER, EMPOWERED, and WISER from the challenges we embrace instead of resist. Life is all about the journey not the destination. Blessings, Samantha
gayle
July 5, 2011
samantha. . you ROCK! you will be happy to know that although i do not have the time/energy to fully engage, i have not gained weight. . . . i am staying (mostly) clean and tru to the program. the program is awesome!
Jayne Ottman
July 19, 2011
Samantha, I have laughed myself silly over this one with your infused humor….funny how in the end feeling good trumps old nasty habits
Samantha Ray
July 20, 2011
Yes, feeling GOOD holds immense value!!!! I laugh at myself now for even wanting to go back to those old nasty habits. It will be a LONG time before I do that again. Feeling incredible again is WAY better than chocolate:)