My Love-Hate Relationship with Meditating

Posted on May 31, 2010 by


Christy Ewing

About 5 years ago I went to my first yoga class.  I didn’t know anything about yoga and the whole mind body connection was a concept I thought was for less grounded people than myself.  I enjoyed the activity part of the class and vowed to come back again.  However at the close of class, when the instructor asked us to lay down on the mat in Savasana, I was uncomfortable and thought about getting up and leaving.  I asked myself what in the world could I gain from just laying there trying not to think of anything.  As far as I was concerned it was a few wasted precious minutes in my busy life and I certainly didn’t have time to lay there and just not think.  Of course it was impossible for me not to think about the myriad of items on my to-do list and that is exactly what I did for the 4-5 minutes.

Since my first yoga class I have grown to enjoy Savasana and I now understand the beauty and necessity of taking time to just be.  Just be in the present and don’t dwell on the past or the future.  Just concentrate on my breath and on my body at that exact moment.  So, when Sheri asked me a few weeks ago if I meditate, the answer was not a yes or no answer.  Do I meditate?  I don’t know because I am not sure what it means to meditate.  Does that mean that when I find the time to go to a yoga class I now enjoy the Savasana.  Does that mean that I have gone to a few Kundalini classes and have had an open heart and mind, or does that mean on a daily basis I take the time to sit down and take a few moments to just be?  If the meaning is the latter, then the answer is no, I do not meditate.  Of course, after I did not give Sheri a definitive answer, she told me to start a 40 day meditation.

The following week I started my 40 day meditation.  Now, a 40 day meditation means you sit down every day for 40 days and if you miss a day, you start over.  So, I have to admit the task is a little daunting.  I have had to start the 40 days over a few times because I allow life to get in the way.  Each time I vow to keep up the daily ritual and I just haven’t made it a habit yet.  I truly want to make it a habit because on the days I sit on the mat and meditate I feel more focused and clear.  I love to sit and just be for awhile and the conscious effort it takes to keep the to-do lists from popping into my head is a great mental exercise.  I love to focus on my breathing and get to my true self.  Life becomes quite clear and all the fluff falls away when I take the time to breathe and be in the present.  I also love the closing ritual of my meditation.  I listen to the Long Time Sun song, which always lifts me up to a higher place and sets me on my path for the day.  I am now embracing the idea of meditating daily and I understand that meditating is what grounds me and offers a clear vision to my true self.  So, off I go to sit on my mat and continue my 40 day meditation.

Posted in: Food For Thought